... Sit and think, down and drink - sing this sad, sad song. You can bring me flowers, baby, when I’m dead and gone ...

I have been lax in posting lately. This is partially due to my laptop journeying to I-refuse-to-turn-on-without-complex-rituals-being-performed-in-my-honor-ville, and partially due to the fact that, as always, my life gets busy. As lives typically do.

This week I buried a friend. I didn’t know her too well, or even for too long. But Amanda and her dog Louie had a major impact on my life. Her suicide took many of her friends by surprise, even if she had come upon hard times. She was compassionate, stubborn, knowledgeable, friendly, giving, and intelligent. She had high standards for herself and others, and never compromised on things that she felt mattered the most. Her service was simple, with bells, biographical notes, and a bible passage. The service was held in a church that embraces tenets of many faiths and welcomes people regardless of their sexual orientation, martial or socioeconomic status, and history. Amanda would’ve liked that. One thing that made the service different from any I’ve experienced was that it also included a surprisingly frank discussion of suicide, which was both welcome and unsettling.

The speaker addressed the elephant in the room, and used the M*A*S*H theme song to start his reflections. He painted Amanda’s choice to take her own life as her final act of courage – her pain was creeping up on her slowly and she saw no solution except to end the pain by ‘pushing the sword in fully’. She apparently saw herself as a burden and didn’t believe in public assistance and saw this as the only way. We were encouraged to respect her choice and to hope for the best for her soul. She had been a good person, so her life would come to a place of wholeness. I found all this very hard to sit through, as did Auntie Joyce. We were told to let our feelings of guilt and anger go, and to remember only the moments of joy in Amanda’s life, instead of the ones where she was troubled, tired, and in pain. He told us to let go. He rang a bell and told us to leave in peace.

I don’t let go easily. It’s a major flaw of mine. I gather my friends around me and sing and gamble and dance and try, for a minute, to forget how fragile things really are.

But I tried. We tried. I kidnapped Joyce to make us both feel better, and drove off to Greenville. We bought books, holed up in my favorite coffee shop, and alternated between happy stories (Auntie apparently smuggled a phone into Columbia once), reading, and people-watching. She left her coffee order up to me, and she got a latte with half a pack of brown sugar. So did I. I read Rushdie and tried to figure out if I had an opinion other then ‘meh’. She read murder mystery short stories. She came to Tuesday swing and watched me dance (“You just sparkle, Sara!”), after I had my house bourbon and she let me order her beer (Purple Haze). She made friends, and fell over trying to dance with a younger (“He was so handsome! Go dance with him!”) man. She also giggled like a schoolgirl when she saw the young couples cuddled close, slow dancing. Somehow, the physical activity coupled with Auntie’s joy at being somewhere new helped the tightness in my heart ease, just a tiny bit. I got her home by Bert’s curfew, and huddled in my bed under layers and layers of blankets. I felt cold and small.

My life also has its effervescent moments of joy – a perfect swing-out, the burn after my bourbon, laughing at Joyce’s crazily perfect stories, perfect advertisements on Craigslist (link below), meeting the most oddly perfect new friends, Sherlock and popcorn and puppies, FarScape and crazy cats, advocacy, dinosaurs and hordes of four-year-olds, Matt Nathanson’s dirty mouth, masquerade balls, and banned books.

My latest taboo joy – The Hunger Games. This gem of YA literature has been on the most challenged list for age appropriateness, violence, and for being sexually explicit.

 

I’m going to come right out and state that I don’t begin to understand the complaint about the book being sexually explicit. Did I, as a grown-ass woman, miss the sexy-times in the book? I mean, there was some making out, and nudity was mentioned, and teenagers were left alone and unchaperoned… while they were trying to kill each other. So yeah, no real chances of sexy-time. Please tell me if I just missed it somehow. Now, the charges of violence – I agree the book is violent - very violent for a children’s book. You hear a characters screams as they are ripped apart, slowly, by creatures in the woods. A main character murders someone and watches a very tragic death of someone she cares about. The book is bloody – and made me, an adult, cringe a little. I feel that while sad and at times scary, the discussion of killing and murder in YA literature is not inappropriate, and the deaths were dealt with – the seriousness and sadness made evident – this was not some psychopath murdering for the joy of it. The major issue still remains – is this book age appropriate? I say yes. Going by the definition of 14 – 22 (what librarians and publishers generally consider the YA demographic); I can say this book is appropriate and valuable in the stacks.

Valuable? Yes, I call The Hunger Games a valuable book.  First off, let’s look at is as a lesson in civil disobedience. Peeta’s family, as well as families in the land of Panem, do what they can to survive – including bending and breaking the laws of the land, without causing death and pain to others. The importance of personal decision and using your mind to help you escape problematic circumstances are highlighted. The need (hard to see, but there nonetheless) to examine where society is headed and asking if we are going back to the bread-and-circuses with our iPods in hand is clear.  The need to question, verify, challenge, and act with as much integrity as one can are not values in every YA book. I’d hate to see this one banned.

Personally, I could barely put this book down. It was all I could do to not go buy the other two and devour them. A pleasant distraction, a good read, and not some mushy sparkly vampire book for teenagers to moon over. This afternoon I have a coffee date, a book to read, a friend's dog to walk, a bathroom to clean, and Sherlock to watch. Tomorrow I have a dessert to make, a house to tidy, and a party to attend. 

And I sparkle.

The BEST Craigslist Ad EVER! 

Song of the Day - Edge of Desire 

... No one can find the rewind button now - sing it if you understand ...

DISCLAIMER – This is a banned book post.  A report of sorts. On a book that is either frequently challenged or is/has been banned. Some content may not suit you. So, consider if you want to continue reading, or if you’d rather wait for a ‘normal’ post.

Very few things in my life have perfect timing. A precious, precious few. My art class study-abroad came at a perfect time, as did my travel to the UK. My first summer working at camp. Meeting my longtime tenant and friend, K. My independence rearing its head in the summer of ‘09. The events that all culminated on my birthday week in ’11 (what a week). Meeting my new Greenville friends.

My latest banned book had freakishly perfect timing because it dovetailed with timing of events in my life in a strange, mysterious way that I can’t wrap my brain around. It’s even weirder when you consider the book is Beloved by Toni Morrison. To begin – the book. At the end – the way it fit into my life, at a very odd juncture.

Beloved has been challenged in schools in Florida, Texas, and Maine (at least, these stats are the results of only light research). The reasons varied – violent images, language, sexual material (incest, rape, pedophilia, graphic sex, sexual abuse, bestiality) physical/emotional abuse, infanticide, and profanity. And yes, this is a dark book. A heavy book. A book that repeats itself time and again in the final chapter as a story you aren’t meant to share. Why does it keep popping up? Why does it keep offending people? If it isn’t a worthwhile book, why doesn’t it just go out of print? The reason is that Beloved is a book that confronts. It makes people confront their past, confront their sins, and realize their present. And people don’t handle these ideas well at all. I don’t handle these ideas well at all.

Sethe is a former slave (she escaped to Cincinnati) who lives in a house haunted by a baby – her child. She has given birth to several children, but only one still lives with her – the others have fled or died. She and her daughter, Denver, do not mix with the community. In the beginning you assume it has to do with the house – and you are partially right. But as the story moves on and you learn the daily struggles of Sethe and Denver’s lives, you begin to realize that it is much more then the house that keeps them isolated. In the opening of the novel, a slave named Paul D. visits Sethe and becomes her lover. They worked on the same plantation years ago before Sethe escaped. While Paul D. provides her with joy and companionship, he begins to bring back memories that haunt Sethe. Paul D. (briefly) exorcises their resident ghost. Denver is upset, because she believes the ghost to be her baby sister. The ghost is also Denver’s only companion. She partly forgives Paul D. when he takes both ladies to a carnival. Sadly, this joy is short lived. Upon returning, a strange being appears at Sethe’s house. It is a well-dressed young woman who calls herself Beloved. She looks strangely like Sethe and behaves oddly – exercising a surprising amount of control over Paul D. (to the point of impelling him to have sex with her and moving him bodily around the house) and Sethe (using emotional manipulation and fear to cripple her). Eventually you discover Beloved is a sort of revenant/ghost/demon of Sethe’s dead child – and is back to be with Sethe. Sethe begins telling the women about (and while telling, begins to relive) her horrific past. Paul D. finds out why the community shuns Sethe and why her baby is dead. He cannot stay with Sethe after he discovers her secret, and leaves. For a time, Denver is alone with the demon and her mother – providing for them and trying to protect her mother from the overbearing, overwhelming presence of Beloved. Beloved physically harms Denver and Sethe when she does not get her way, causes them to starve, and keeps Sethe from working. Finally, Paul D. and the community overcome their distaste for Sethe’s past actions and exorcise her house. While free of Beloved’s presence, Sethe continues to suffer and is burdened with guilt. She has to come to grips with her past and see it for what it is before she can move into the present and dream of the future along with Paul D. and Denver.

Still from the movie with Oprah Winfrey and Thandie Newton - 

Wow – this book is violent. There are descriptions of bloody deaths, rape, whippings, difficult childbirths, and slow decent into madness. The descriptions of what some slaves could have gone through (just bodily) to escape to freedom in the north made my stomach turn. The emotional strain and heartache Sethe and Paul D. endured and boxed away was enough for several lifetimes. However, the fact that they boxed all of these emotions up and did not confront them lead to the very physical oppression of alcoholism (for Paul D.) and the crippling presence of Beloved (for Sethe).

The things that made this book worth the struggle were the characters of Baby Suggs and the realizations the community, Paul D., Denver and Sethe have in the final chapters. Baby Suggs is Sethe’s mother-in-law and the spiritual leader of the community. She calls the people in the community to laugh, cry, love, dance, embrace life and heal. When Sethe does the unthinkable and begins to justify her actions to others, Baby Suggs is overwhelmed and succumbs to illness. The community draws on her memory and the memory of her strength to save Sethe – realizing the hatred and fear they feel for her should be tempered with love. Sethe and Paul D.’s story closes on his realization that they both have had enough yesterdays and they need more tomorrows. They embrace themselves and each other, deal with the past, and leave Beloved behind.

I had to confront my past this week. Actions I took. Actions I did not take. The ways the actions and inaction hurt others. My mindset. My opinions. My desires against what my desires should be. Truth against lies. Past versus present versus future. I looked into the eyes of someone who was standing where I stood almost a year ago and realized I was being haunted.  It wasn’t until that instant I was able to dispel the complete feeling of worthlessness and futility I’ve been carrying, In that instant I exorcised the demon – pregnant with hate and rancor – from my mind. I realized I was my own ‘best thing’.

Today, I choose to love myself. – all of me. I choose to trust, yet verify. I choose to remember without reliving. I choose to forgive myself and others. Today, I choose tomorrow.

Extra Credit - some of my workweek soundtrack.

Her Morning Elegance

Kandi

Gray or Blue

...in the mountains the sun sets up in ribbons so high, it's like I don't never wanna get old, don't ever wanna die...

Banned Book Blurb -

Heard about this on NPR this morning - The Satanic Verses is on my booklist! Thought I'd share it, along with additional information from another news source.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/01/17/145366081/indian-lit-festival-invitation-to-author-salman-rushdie-stirs-controversy

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2090348/Salman-Rushdie-Novelists-absence-weighs-Jaipur-Literature-Festival.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Cheers!

"... ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees ..."

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

... your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine ...

I have been very remiss in blogging, running, and almost every aspect of being a normal responsible adult lately. I have been to work, naturally. I’ve seen friends. I’ve even embarked on a timeshare adventure with a husky puppy (I get to walk her and coax her into being a sweet obedient puppy, but no costs are incurred other then gas to go pet her). Other then discovering The Civil Wars (late on that one) and being very angry with Santorum for … breathing …

NO, SERIOUSLY. I LOATHE THAT MAN. I will be going to vote in the primary SIMPLY to vote for SOMEONE ELSE, so I can contribute to his demise.

He says nasty things about pretty much everyone, racist comments, his extremely holier-than-thou, and don’t even get me STARTED on the ‘the only moral abortion is my WIFE’S abortion and NO ONE ELSE can have one EVER’.

Let more informed and (possibly?) less biased minds inform you of the specifics -

http://www.inquisitr.com/175142/did-rick-santorum-make-a-racist-remark-about-black-people-and-entitlements/

http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2012/01/03/396428/santorums-racist-welfare-rant/?mobile=nc

http://my.firedoglake.com/twolf1/tag/frothy-mix/

http://jezebel.com/5873158/rick-santorums-anti+abortion-stance-would-have-killed-his-own-wife

http://oursilverribbon.org/blog/?p=188

Thank goodness for his ‘little Google problem’.

http://www.bellinghamherald.com/2012/01/11/2346080/rick-santorums-google-problem.html

In less … ummm … political and emotionally charged news …

Rain makes me want to lounge in bed all day next to someone, drinking tea, reading books, and giggling. This week’s weather has put me off kilter, as I haven’t had the luxury of being able to do any of those things.

I also got to pick someone up at the airport (Nick now owes me something pretty, as his flight was DELAYED and I sat there forever).  I love airports. They are magical, transformative places. Places you get to pass through and embark on an adventure – turn into a new person with a specific goal. No one knows who you are, and a few know where you’re headed. But NOBODY knows why other then the person who asks the obligatory ‘business or pleasure’ question.  You could be a spy, or a housewife, or someone having a torrid affair. A CEO or a down on your luck person who just got fired – running home to momma. The sense of freedom from the massive amount of stories, personal drama, anonymity, and separation from the known is intoxicating.  I was bodily sitting in a car, but mentally in Italy – on a piazza in Venice drinking a blood orange and champagne and eating the most delicious pizza ever while people-watching Italians.  I was in heaven there, with my moleskine, food, and pencils – writing, sketching, and reading in complete bliss. No one cared that my sketches looked like shit. No one cared that I got sunburned from sunbathing in my underwear in a vineyard.  No one cared that I was alternately blunt, crabby, wide-eyed, in love, and homesick. I was entirely within my own skin and I have never felt more powerful or more vulnerable. It was a perfect moment in time.

More extreme than, but similar to the first sip of my tea today, the kid who waved to me in the hall, the bit of sun peeking through the clouds, finding out about the child whose test scores increased by 33 points ... seconds of bliss.

Tonight's the night the world begins again ...

Long post warning! 

I’m taking (another) break from Freud and sucking on a hot-pink candy cane. Kindle un-downloaded it again and I lost all my notes, making me most irritated. After re-downloading, I had to take a break when I started over thinking the candy cane consumption. Honestly. Is there a reason to second-guess why I prefer starting on the non-hooked end and working toward the hook? Am I repressing my inner kink? Really, the only deep dark secret I have is my HUGE woman crush on Adele. I would so switch teams to date her. My gosh. I would like to invite you to take a second to consider the SKILL that this woman has, her growth from ‘19’ and ‘Chasing Pavements’ to her heartrending ‘21’ and ‘Someone Like You’. Her cover of Bonnie Rait’s ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me’ gives me the chills. ‘Save the Best For Last’ and ‘Make You Feel My Love’ rock my world. ‘21’ has been my personal theme album since about August.  I distantly remember scaring a young man by singing ‘Best for Last’ over and over in his car, like a type of hymn or a prayer.  It was simple and perfect. Additionally, the woman has soul and metal plated lady-balls. In an interview she had this amazing quote when someone asked her about her appearance –

Just wow. Maybe I’m less than 85% straight after all.

Christmas questing is a fun adventure, but is hard work. I have driven hither and yon and now I’m at LindyFocus after all the holiday hoopla, staying in a hotel room with dancers far more talented then me, as usual. The thing that kept me going on the road yesterday was driving with the radio WAY up. I jump between stations like a pro – starting with NPR as my default, and changing to Top 40 or Country when they start losing my interest or hit a commercial. I sing loudly in my car and drum on the steering wheel. I love my car for its confessional-esqe quality. I can yell at myself, sing with anger, vent, plan, argue, and rehash the day’s events – all in the most privacy I think most non-carpooling adults can get.

Christmas with the Ellis/Waddell side of the family was perfectly peachy, other than a car being broken into at the catering store, falling off of the sofa, and general unease. However, some wine time and giggles later, we were all able to relax and fall into the holiday. And open presents. I love it when people love the presents I give them! I think almost everyone was excited about his or her gifts – Pappy was excited about his sriracha and Nanna was thrilled about her toothpaste (she really loves this particular type, and I gave her other things too). And did I ever get spoiled – my dragonish nature was thrilled with some new necklaces – including one that Nanna has had for years and wanted me to have (super special). I also got a cool way to display them in my room – a necklace tree. And Andi gave me a book that may be the only thing to push me through my current book. It’s taking me forever to digest. But I am going to finish it, and my new book will be waiting! I book nerded out when I got it!

Christmas with the Crouse clan is always an involved affair – first the Christmas Eve family reunion where there is a meet and greet with the relatives you 'know’ but aren’t too close to, the questions about your job, your relationships, why you aren't married, when you will have children, and avoiding inappropriately flirty kin. There’s so much food the tables seem to groan under the weight. The next day there is a huge Christmas dinner, the house is always over-filled. Then the presents, last item of the day, are handed out and unwrapped in frenzy of paper and bows.  I got some perfume I love, lip balms, and some lovely fuzzy socks.

The entertainment for the occasion was  ‘I Love Lucy’ and ‘Big Bang Theory’. Dad nearly turned purple at some of the physics jokes (although he did not like being called an Oompa Loompa of science), and Grandot loved the ‘I Love Lucy’ DVDs I got her. Dad did inform me that if indeed Dr. Sheldon Cooper existed, no matter my dating track record, I was not to bring him home to meet the family. EVER. I think part of his problem is the difficulty he has seeing the eccentricities our family already has in huge quantities.

I have major problems with noise, as anyone who knows me well is aware. I really can’t deal with being yelled at or being around things that are obnoxiously loud for long periods of time unless I am allowed a beer to settle me out a bit (hence my problem with Newspring, very loud and no bar). Christmas always tries my patience, due to the noisiness in the two families – Dad’s side due to deafness and both parties feeling the need to shout, and Pappy’s Fox News obsession on mom’s side. It also means I have to yell. I don’t like to yell. It makes me feel irritated and … mean. Especially when I have to yell at older people. Even to say hello. Yelling brings back painful memories of others and myself in less then ‘perfect’ situations. It also makes me feel like I’m being irrational. So I tend to be quiet in Elkin, so I don’t yell or clash.  Sometimes being around certain family members makes me feel the need to code-switch – but more of a persona code-switch then a linguistic one. There are different expectations and beliefs and I just don’t seem to quite fit the space they had carved out for me anymore. The mere THOUGHT or JOKE of me getting a tattoo sends the family at large into a kerfuffle.

Needless to say, being in Elkin with no WiFi for miles and miles and nothing but cows has been restful, in a way. I like being with my ‘people’ to relax. And an adult beverage doesn’t hurt. LindyFocus is a bit trying as well, even for a extrovert like me, mostly because the sheer number of people and trying to make myself fit somewhere and know enough people comfortably to impose my mediocre dancing on them.

In other news …

This isn’t a New Year’s post – it just happens to coincide somewhat with the resolution-making season. I was going through an old college journal (when I actually wrote with pen and paper everyday – heavens!) And found a half-finished ‘25 things to do before 26’ list. Obviously, I giggled a little, but then I looked at some of the things I had and had not accomplished since I originally undertook the writing of the list. I have edited, updated, and have decided to give myself a formal deadline for accomplishing the following 25 items.  Goals are always good things, and I can’t wait to see how far I get on this list, and if I can actually finish it.

1. Get a tattoo

            Really, this is a matter of committing to one of the MANY ideas that I have in my head … and designing it. I have several ideas for placement, and color, and I just need to pick my first.  Some days I think I have it set – and then I get a new idea or see something fabulous on Pinterest. My top two are literature related – one is a snippet from a Dr. Suess book and another is a snippet from Jane Austen. Also, I have to hide it from my family for the rest of my life. At least the grandparents.

2. Run a 5k

            I’ve wanted to do this since I was 16, and I’ve never actually signed up and run it, although I’m sure I could. Was cancelled, being rescheduled.

3. Run a 10k

            Same as above, but twice as hardcore. And I’ve registered. Zod help me. Wimped out. Rescheduling.

4. Donate hair to Locks of Love

            I have never been able to get my hair long enough to do this. I figure with another year of growth, I’ll have enough hair to not be totally bald after 10 inches gets taken off. This mostly involves me learning to be patient then any other major feat.

5. Go to a movie alone

            Sounds silly, but I’ve never actually done it. I usually just wait for the DVD.  Did it! Completely cheesy movie, and did it to kill time on a day off. Wasn't that bad. Will do again. It was really NBD. Why did I wait so long?

6. Have good pictures taken (personal, not necessarily boudoir)

            There are maybe 3 pictures in existence of ME that I really like. I just am not photogenic. I am tired of family displaying TERRIBLE photos of me and un-tagging FaceBook photos constantly. I never had a ‘senior’ session either. A friend said a boudoir session would be fun for me, especially after I finish my 10K. I’m not too sure. However; I will get some nice photos done, that I’m proud of. I may wear normal clothing. I may wear lace. Who knows!

7. Own and wear at least one piece of pretty, nice lingerie

            I may not need a bustier, but gosh-darn-it, I want one, and I want to wear it. I have bought brides pretty lacey things. My turn. Maybe a corset?

8. Maintain a blog with some regularity

            Working on this one, obviously.

9. Wear a 2 piece at the beach without a cover-up

            Self-explanatory.

10. Read 25 banned books

            I picked these. You can research why they were banned, if you’re curious. I found I’ve read more than I had imagined already, thanks to my PCA education and my stubbornness.

            Andersonville by MacKinlay Kantor

            Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden

            As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

            Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger

            The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by A.N. Roquelaure
            The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

            Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

            Howl by Allen Ginsberg

            The Last of the Wine by Mary Renault

            Lysistrata by Aristophanes

            Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie

            Things Your Father Never Taught You by Robert Masullo

            Waco: The Davidian Massacre by Carol Moore

            And Tango Makes Three by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson

            Beloved by Toni Morrison

            Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison

            The Awakening by Kate Chopin

            Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence

            Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs

            The Wish Giver by Bill Brittain

            Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

            Always Running by Luis J. Rodriguez

            Revolutionary Voices edited by Amy Sonnie

            The Color Purple by Alice Walker

            Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

11. Yoga

            Ever since my doomed class, I’ve been afraid to go back. I will conquer this fear. And I will become a flexible goddess of the downward dog.  EPIC!

12. Pole Dancing

            I have always wanted to take a few classes. Have you ever seen how athletic and graceful people who use this dance as an art form are? I saw it on America’s Got Talent (guilty pleasure of Julie’s) and have been fascinated with the idea of trying it ever since. There are some places that offer fitness classes in Greenville. LW and JL seem down ...

13. Choreograph and film a dance routine

            I want to be able to pull up a decent video of me swing/blues/whatever dancing on YouTube and say – Look, I don’t suck!

14. Improve my accuracy with my firearm

            Self-explanatory.

15.  Cook for and pull off a dinner party for 8 or more

            I don’t have the space in my townhouse for this, but I’ve always admired my aunt’s ability to pull off a cloth napkin affair for our big family with no major panic on her part. I want to be able to do it as well. I will have to do some major brainstorming to figure this one out. Maybe someone will let me borrow their kitchen for my birthday?

16. Give up caffeine for a month

            It will suck. But I really need to detox and see if I can function without it. I’m thinking a summer month. SO did it. SO over it. Love my coffee. Drink it black now, mostly.

17. Go on a vacation with a group of friends

            Even if it is only for a weekend at the beach or a road trip to the mountains, the goal is a multi-night, non-catastrophic stay. With photographic evidence. Dance events do not count, after I gave it some thought.

18.  Complete a home improvement project on my own (or with help from ONLY the Lowes guys)

            I will reject help. I will make the improvement. It will be awesome. I pity the man or woman who tries to tell me otherwise. This does NOT apply to painting. Painting is meant to be done in a party-type way.

19.  Play a sport for fun

            Team sports freaked me out as a kid, and still do to some extent. I want to actually have fun playing a ‘sport’ and not panic about the score too much. Or my total lack of skill.

20.  Find my signature cocktail

            I will be a more creative bartender and will expand my repertoire – and find the cocktails that I love to order. Yay Pinterest for getting me started.

21.  Go to LEAF

            I love it, and I forget to schedule it before it gets obscenely expensive. My friends aren’t typically into this type of geekery either, which makes it more difficult for me to find people to go with, but I will balls up and go alone if I need to. Mmmmm, LEAF.

22.  Go to a Ren Faire

            Always loved the idea, but have never been brave enough to actually go.

23. Draft a grant proposal

            Had to throw something intellectually difficult on the list, right?

24. Start and COMPLETE a piece of artwork/craft

            Finishing is the difficult part.

25. Be entirely debt free

            Not that it’s too much – but I want to have the knowledge that I paid it down and took it over myself.

Extra Credit videos -